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Construction puns in 2025

Where in the Bible does Jesus bequeath his woodworking tools?
– The Axe of the Apostles!

I was having an argument about construction with someone on reddit.
He said he never had any issues with mis-calculations during construction on houses and I said that’s impossible.

I told him in response about a time I put a post in the ground at a bad angle and had to take it out and put it back in correctly.

He got mad at me because he had heard the same exact story on r/construction

I guess you could call it a repost

The first carpenter did a bad job and screwed the furniture up but the second one nailed it.

I knew a guy who operated a steamroller for a living. He was known to be quite good with flattery.

Want to hear a joke about construction?
– I’m still working on it!

The wasted concrete slabs are buried under the ground. We call the place a cementery.

My father always wanted to be a plumber for a construction company, but his plans ended up being nothing but a pipe dream.

Why do dogs make great construction workers? They’re natural roofers.

How does construction workers party ?
– They raise the roof.

Do you wanna hear a joke about construction
– Never mind I’m still working on it

Did The Doors hold jamb sessions?

We visited a zoo last week that was partially under construction. I saw a snake wearing a construction hat. I guess that was a boa constructor.

I was helping my dad with construction he told me to get the hammer but I accidentally gave him the drill
– He said I could have nailed it, but I screwed up

What do construction workers say before they begin a job. Let’s make sure we don’t screw this up.

I had a joke about construction…
…but I’m still working on it.

The project to restore Big Ben was a bit behind schedule, so the construction company put on a third shift…
– Men are now working around the clock.

My dad and I are walking around Munich and I point out all the construction.
True story, he says, “The crane business must be booming.”

A hopeless romantic drives a steamroller. He’s also quite a flatterer.

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