Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Doctor puns in 2025

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
– Because they felt crummy.

I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal conditions
– but someone had taken the appendix out.

A patient parked in a hospital car park.
– Someone came over and said “this is for badge holder’s only”.
– The patient said “but I have got a bad shoulder”.

Today I was checked by Dr. B. Gee. I hope I will be stayin’ alive.

What is the most common medical issue for swimmers?
– Strokes

What did the frog say when it found out it had a broken leg?
– “I’m unhoppy!”

Have you met the new chiropractor, Doctor L. Bow?

Doctor’s office: All our records are electronic now just fill out these 12 forms

If I ever find out the name of the surgeon that screwed up my limb transplant,
– I’ll kill him… with my bear hands.

My mother used to say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
– Lovely woman. Useless surgeon

Why did the book go to the doctor?
– Someone broke its spine.

What did the doctor say to the boy who ate a roll of camera film?
– Let’s see if anything develops.

My psychiatrist said I was pre-occupied with the vengeance I told him “oh yeah we’ll see about that!”

What type of medical condition excites politicians?
– Pro-state cancer

What’s the difference between a mechanic and a doctor?
– A mechanic fixes his mistakes… A doctor buries his.

What did the doctor say to the sick apple?
– We’ll get to the core of this.

I’m looking for a good medical programme to watch,
– but I don’t want no Scrubs.

I’ve got a disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes.
– The doctor says its terminal.

Follow us on Facebook