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Doctor puns in 2025

When I said “I was afraid of the dentist”, I meant the bill.

The infectious diseases ward of the hospital has the best wifi because of all of the hotspots.

What did the doctor say when a patient refused medical treatment?
– Suture self.

You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back.

I’ve just learnt the medical name for viagra.
– Mycoxafloppin.

A boy asked a doctor why he felt like a pony,
– the doctor said it’s because you’re a little hoarse.

What do you call a medical operation to see inside an ocean?
– A biop-sea.

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life.
– He was right—I feel ten years older already

Where do sick boats go to get healthy?
– To the dock!

What’s the difference between God and a Doctor?
– God knows he’s not a Doctor

Why did the pillow go to the doctors?
– They felt a bit stuffy.

Where did the boat go to sleep?
– The doc.

patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.” Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”

I just learnt the medical name for Viagra
– Mycoxaflopin

Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor’s office is full of portraits by Picasso

Why did the banana go to the doctors?
– Because he wasn’t peeling well!

The best dermatologists start their careers from scratch.

What is it called when you can’t sleep but eat all night instead?
– Insomnomnomnia

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