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Doctor puns in 2025

A couple years ago my therapist told me I had problems letting go of the past

I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal pain.
– Somebody had ripped the appendix out.

The doctor knew she was destined to be an osteopath,
– she could feel it in her bones.

What kind of medical condition causes wrinkled clothes?
– An iron deficiency.

He slapped his two inches on the doctors desk. The doctor said “What is wrong with it?” “It’s swollen.”

Tesla just started production of medical gear to support hospital workers…
– The Elon Mask is their first product.

How do you give medical treatment to a sick pig?
– With oinkment.

Why did the doctor laugh at the X-ray of an arm?
– Because he found the X -ray humerus.

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age
– but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

Just called to make an appointment with a psychic but she told me that I don’t show up.

I’m not a doctor but I know adding cheese to anything makes it an antidepressant.

Man: “When I bend my arm like this it hurts?”
– Doctor: “Well, stop doing it!”

Why did the bucket go the doctor?
– He was looking a bit pail.

Why do eye doctors live so long?
– They dilate.

Sign at the Urologist’s office: URINE good hands.

I recently failed my Medical College entrance exam because of nerves.
– The correct answer was blood vessels.

At night, you have to wait ages for an X-ray
– because there’s only skeleton staff working.

Where do medical students go to study?
– The hippocampus.

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