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Doctor puns in 2025

What did the frog say when it found out it had a broken leg?
– “I’m unhoppy!”

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Have you met the new chiropractor, Doctor L. Bow?

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Doctor’s office: All our records are electronic now just fill out these 12 forms

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My psychiatrist said I was pre-occupied with the vengeance I told him “oh yeah we’ll see about that!”

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What type of medical condition excites politicians?
– Pro-state cancer

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What’s the difference between a mechanic and a doctor?
– A mechanic fixes his mistakes… A doctor buries his.

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Why did the book go to the doctor?
– Someone broke its spine.

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What did the doctor say to the boy who ate a roll of camera film?
– Let’s see if anything develops.

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My doctor advised me to kill people.
– Not in such words of course,
– he just said that I must diminish the amount of stress in my life.

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Apple has been developing a new medical device…
– Its called the iHurt

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What did the doctor say to the sick apple?
– We’ll get to the core of this.

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I’m looking for a good medical programme to watch,
– but I don’t want no Scrubs.

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I’ve got a disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes.
– The doctor says its terminal.

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I have a medical journal joke
– But it’s still under review

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What did the math book say to the psychologist?
– “Would you like to hear my problems?”

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What is the medical name for owning too many dogs?
– A roverdose.

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The new doctor is a real people person, have you met the Dr Hugh Manatee?

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A woman says to the dentist “I don’t know which is worse having a tooth pulled or having a Baby.”
– The dentist says “Well make up your mind I gotta adjust the chair!”

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