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Doctor puns in 2025

Have you met the new chiropractor, Doctor L. Bow?

Doctor’s office: All our records are electronic now just fill out these 12 forms

If I ever find out the name of the surgeon that screwed up my limb transplant,
– I’ll kill him… with my bear hands.

My mother used to say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
– Lovely woman. Useless surgeon

Why did the book go to the doctor?
– Someone broke its spine.

What did the doctor say to the boy who ate a roll of camera film?
– Let’s see if anything develops.

My psychiatrist said I was pre-occupied with the vengeance I told him “oh yeah we’ll see about that!”

What type of medical condition excites politicians?
– Pro-state cancer

What’s the difference between a mechanic and a doctor?
– A mechanic fixes his mistakes… A doctor buries his.

What did the doctor say to the sick apple?
– We’ll get to the core of this.

I’m looking for a good medical programme to watch,
– but I don’t want no Scrubs.

I’ve got a disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes.
– The doctor says its terminal.

My doctor advised me to kill people.
– Not in such words of course,
– he just said that I must diminish the amount of stress in my life.

Apple has been developing a new medical device…
– Its called the iHurt

What is the medical name for owning too many dogs?
– A roverdose.

The new doctor is a real people person, have you met the Dr Hugh Manatee?

A woman says to the dentist “I don’t know which is worse having a tooth pulled or having a Baby.”
– The dentist says “Well make up your mind I gotta adjust the chair!”

I have a medical journal joke
– But it’s still under review

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