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Doctor puns in 2025

When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency,
– I always write, “A very good doctor”.

What is the medical diagnosis for owning too many dogs?
– Roverdose

What happened to the girl who ate food colouring?
– She dyed a little inside.

A patient’s medical record said they had blood type B,
– but it was a type O.

What did the bladders say to each other on valentines day?
– Urine my thoughts.

Last week my Doctor told me I was going deaf.
– I haven’t heard from him since.

The medical examiner’s office was told to reduce their budget
– So they had to cut coroners.

Where does an owl get medical treatment from?
– Dr Who.

The new doctor is such a happy person, have you met Doctor Phil Goode?

Dr.’s are saying not to worry about the bird flu
– because it’s tweetable.

What do you call a medical fish?
– Sturgeon general

The doctors found a diseased blood type: U.

I told the doctor I didn’t want brain surgery,
– but she changed my mind.

How do doctors help rockets?
– They give the rockets their booster shots.

When someone asks me if I’m seeing anyone,
– I automatically assume they’re talking about a psychiatrist

I left the hospital against medical advice…
– AMA

Who are the only people who don’t like doctor puns?
– People with an irony deficiency.

Medical students hate the test on kidney stones,
– it’s the hardest test to pass.

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