Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Doctor puns in 2025

Why do doctors walk past the pill cupboard quietly?
– So they don’t wake the sleeping pills.

My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them.
– I did that and I feel much better but I’m wondering… do I keep the letters?

I need a suggestion of a good medical sitcom to binge on Netflix….
– But I don’t want no Scrubs

Why did the dalmatian go to the doctors?
– Because every time she looked in the mirror she saw spots.

Who is the coolest person in the hospital?
– The Ultra Sound guy.

“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible.”
– “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”

What idiot called it a vet instead of a dogtor?

The best doctor is the one you run to and can’t find.

Why did the rope go to the doctors?
– Because it had a knot in its stomach.

Conjunctivitis.com, that’s a site for sore eyes.

The therapist asked my wife why she wanted to end our marriage.
– She said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns.
– I look at the therapist and said, “Divorce is strong with this one!”

What do seals do when they need medical attention?
– Sea kelp

What did the doctor say to the alcoholic?
– Keep taking the Pils

A guy made so many rash decisions he decided to become a dermatologist.

The doctor told a patient “you have acute appendicitis” the patient replied “is that better than an ugly one?”

I’m not a doctor but I know adding cheese to anything makes it an antidepressant.

What kind of medical condition causes wrinkles clothes?
– An iron deficiency.

Why did the doctors appointment with the centipede take so long?
– Because he sprained his ankles.

Follow us on Facebook