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Doctor puns in 2025

I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal conditions
– but someone had taken the appendix out.

A patient parked in a hospital car park.
– Someone came over and said “this is for badge holder’s only”.
– The patient said “but I have got a bad shoulder”.

Today I was checked by Dr. B. Gee. I hope I will be stayin’ alive.

What is the most common medical issue for swimmers?
– Strokes

What did the frog say when it found out it had a broken leg?
– “I’m unhoppy!”

Have you met the new chiropractor, Doctor L. Bow?

Doctor’s office: All our records are electronic now just fill out these 12 forms

If I ever find out the name of the surgeon that screwed up my limb transplant,
– I’ll kill him… with my bear hands.

My mother used to say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
– Lovely woman. Useless surgeon

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