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Fish puns in 2025

Hey, would you mind letting minnow what you think about this one?

I fish upon a star

Did you hear about the illiterate fisherman?
– He was lost at C.

What did Dorothy the fish say?
– There’s no plaice like home.

Perch-ance, is this seat taken?

Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
– On squid row.

Isn’t it a bit misleading to call thinly sliced raw beef carp-accio?

What bit of fish doesn’t make sense?
– The piece of cod that passeth all understanding.

What do you call an underwater social network?
– Fishb

 Sure, but fishing for compliments is never becoming.

I’m so so-fish-ticated

Why don’t fish like going online? Because they’re scared of the net.

How’s the calamari?
– Why, it’s ex-squid-sit, thank you.

Why did the fisherman start doing drugs? Pier pressure.

What type of instrument do fish love to play?
– A bass drum.

Lobsters would get along a lot better with the other shellfish if they weren’t always trying to lobster things up.

Why don’t fish go into business together?
– They are always sole traders.

What is the fish’s favorite sitcom?
– Tuna Half Men.

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