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Foot puns in 2025

Why did the two podiatrists hate each other?
– Because they were arch enemies!

Does your shoe have a hole in it?
– The answer from your audience will hopefully be no, to which you can reply “Well how did you put your foot in it then?”

What do you call it when you put two slices of bread around your foot?
– A below-knee sandwich.

What do you call the condition when your toes smell really badly?
– Hali-toe-sis!

Did you know alligators can grow up to 22 feet?
– Most of the time, they just grow four though.

Mommy mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
– Shut up or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor!

What did the foot say to the football when they won the match?
– I toed you so!

I used to really hate my foot fungus,
– but now it’s actually starting to grow on me.

What is a podiatrist’s favourite Olympic event?
– Arch-ery!

The runner was getting a little anxious about swimming his first laps,
– he was just getting his feet wet.

What rests on the ground between my feet and is covered in ants?
– My ice cream cone. =(
– *Inspired by actual events.

Why couldn’t the Colorado mountain hikers cross the footbridge?
– Because it had fallen arches!

My baby dropped some of her food on her foot,
– I guess she really wanted to try the avocado toes that everyone goes on about.

The sole reason I fell in love with my husband is
– because he is a podiatrist.

Did you hear who they cast in the new movie, “Shoe-manji?”
– Dwanye “The Sock” Johnson!

Man. I know my wife is athletic and seems pretty quick on her feet…
– but why do all my friends keep calling her a cheetah?
– She ain’t that fast.

What is a foot’s least favourite vegetable?
– Bunions!

Why did the opera singer only sing songs about feet?
– She was an all-toe singer!

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