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Foot puns in 2025

Does your shoe have a hole in it?
– The answer from your audience will hopefully be no, to which you can reply “Well how did you put your foot in it then?”

Why did the two podiatrists hate each other?
– Because they were arch enemies!

What does a foot do to remember a special moment?
– He takes a pho-toe!

What do cheetahs have on their feet?
– Chee-toes!

It’s really easy to surprise a duck, they’re often caught flat footed.

How do you save your wife from drowning?
– Take your foot off of her neck.

I was confident I could win the duel until my opponent swung his sword at my ankles.
– Alas, I was de-feeted.

Which two Ancient Greek philosophers had the nicest feet?
– Pla-toe and Sock-rates!

I’m afraid I have to return my new shoes because they have terrible frequency.
– I put them on once and now my feet really hertz.

How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
– He just follows the big footpath!

If you want to run a race but you wear the wrong shoes,
– you will suffer the agony of de-feet.

Paul’s height is six feet, he is an assistant at a butcher shop and wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
– Meat.

What are a plumber’s favorite type of shoes?
– Tap shoes!

Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
– That way, when you criticize them, you will be a mile away, and you will have their shoes!

My dad was a podiatrist, and so am I.
– I guess I followed in his footsteps!

What do you call a financier with a hole in their sock?
– A sock broker.

The best soup stock is made by boiling chicken feet for hours and hours
– After all, it’s made from scratch.

What material was the first ever shoe made out of?
– Wooden shoe like to know!

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