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Foot puns in 2025

I’m waiting for news from my doctor to see if I have athlete’s foot;
– I’ve been waiting so long, I’m constantly on my toes.

My podiatrist always tells me the truth straight up,
– he never does any toe-ing around.

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?
– He’s a small medium at large.

Why do you measure horses in hands, and not feet?
– Because you can’t walk up the right side of a horse.

What’s a foot’s favorite food?
– Shoe-shi!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop,
– it was really sole destroying.

What do you call a man who got stung on his foot?
– Toe-bee!

What shoes do you put on your pet’s feet?
– Dog martins!

I find it hard to talk openly about the holes in my hands and feet
– Just feels likes there’s a lot of stigmata attached

Why can’t your two feet get along?
– Because they can’t both be right!

Foot injuries are always really serious
– because they take so long to heel.

What is the difference between a chef and a podiatrist?
-One feels the heat while the other heals the feet!

Why do runners constantly have itchy feet?
– They are prone to having athlete’s foot!

Why’s a graveyard the safest place in quarantine?
– Everybody’s 6 feet away

Did I tell you about that time I fell in love whilst doing a backflip?
– I was completely heels over head!

I dropped a dictionary on my foot the other day,
– and I woke up the next morning with a thesaurus toe.

It’s really easy to learn podiatry,
– you just have to make sure you read all the footnotes in the manual.

If someone with a lisp dropped a hammer on their foot, would they be Thor?

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