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Foot puns in 2024

I love your shoes, they are toe-riffic!

Who do giraffes have long necks?
– Because they have smelly feet!

How do you stop a baby from drowning?
– Lift up your foot

Why can’t the scanned document go 50 feet near a school?
– Because it’s a registered PDF file.

What does a thief wear on its feet?
– Sneakers!

My doctor said he’d have me back on my feet in two weeks, and it’s a good thing he did too because
– I had to sell my car to foot the bill!

I was at home with my parents while I recovered from a broken foot.
– One day, after six months, my dad came home and told me it was time to leave.
– He wanted me to stand on my own two feet, but I told him I needed time to heel!

What did the dog say to his podiatrist when he received his diagnosis?
– Nothing, there was an uncomfortable paws!

I am sure you have heard of my feet
– They are leg ends

What kind of shoes do lazy people wear?
– Loafers!

And now people, it’s time to foot your best foot forward!

Why can’t the podiatrist convert numbers into metric?
– He can only work in feet!

What kind of socks do you need to plant flowers?
– Garden hose!

My grandfather hated people with deformed feet
– He was lack toes intolerant.

What does a foot do to remember a special moment?
– He takes a pho-toe!

What do cheetahs have on their feet?
– Chee-toes!

It’s really easy to surprise a duck, they’re often caught flat footed.

How do you save your wife from drowning?
– Take your foot off of her neck.

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