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Foot puns in 2024

Why do golfers wear two pairs of socks?
– In case they get a hole in one!

What do you call someone with mints on their feet?
– Tic tac toes

Why does a circus clown wear loud socks?
– So his feet don’t fall asleep.

If athletes get athlete’s foot,
– then surely soldiers get missile toe.

Did you ever hear the joke about the gym socks?
– You don’t want to, it stinks.

Why did the leper fail his driving test?
– He left his foot on the clutch

What do you call an Italian who has a thing for feet?
– A fetishini

What’s a foot long, made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
– A shoe!

I tried picking up the TV remote with my foot the other day,
– I guess my laziness really is getting out of hand.

Where does the dog go when it has a broken foot?
– The paw-diatrist!

What do you call a penguin who can’t dance?
– Unhappy feet!

If your nose runs and your feet smell
– You were built upside down

What does someone with two left feet wear as shoes?
– Flip-flips!

I hate action figures with no feet, I really just can’t stand them.

The podiatrist is really mean with his money,
– when he is out for dinner with friends he never wants to foot the bill.

Who is the most famous footwear philosopher?
– Sockrates

What happens when you park your car 6.28 feet over the lines?
– It gets tau’d.

How is 3+3=7 the same as your left foot?
– It’s not right!

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