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Foot puns in 2025

What’s a foot long, made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
– A shoe!

I tried picking up the TV remote with my foot the other day,
– I guess my laziness really is getting out of hand.

Where does the dog go when it has a broken foot?
– The paw-diatrist!

What do you call a penguin who can’t dance?
– Unhappy feet!

If your nose runs and your feet smell
– You were built upside down

What does someone with two left feet wear as shoes?
– Flip-flips!

I hate action figures with no feet, I really just can’t stand them.

The podiatrist is really mean with his money,
– when he is out for dinner with friends he never wants to foot the bill.

Who is the most famous footwear philosopher?
– Sockrates

What happens when you park your car 6.28 feet over the lines?
– It gets tau’d.

How is 3+3=7 the same as your left foot?
– It’s not right!

I was trying shoes on but one pair was a size too small,
– so my feet got toe-tally stuck!

How does Mary Poppins cure smelly feet?
– She tells you to step in thyme!

What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle.
– A meter stick

What did the man with two left feet wear?
– Flip flips.

What is the foot’s favorite type of chips?
– Dori-toes!

I took a video of my new pair of shoes yesterday.
– I have just watched it back, and it really made for some excellent footage.

I broke my foot and went in for a routine surgery,
– but I left the hospital with two fewer limbs: it cost an arm and a leg!

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