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Foot puns in 2024

I met the perfect partner,
– but sadly they had no feet so I had to break up with them: you see, I am lack toes intolerant.

What did the sock-stealing gnome tell his wife before going to work?
– It socks to be apart from my sole mate for so darn long!

It is said that most Americans have feet fetish
– And most Europeans prefer Meters

I accidentally cut off most of my foot,
– but thankfully it’s almost all heeled.

What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?
– Ow, mitosis!

Always keep fish away from your feet,
– they are known to be ankle biters.

Mommy mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
– Shut up or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor!

What is the most dangerous mountain in the world for your feet?
– Krakatoa!

A hopster is just a hipster who dropped something heavy on his foot.

I dated my podiatrist for a little while, but it didn’t work out and we broke up.
– I guess we weren’t sole mates after all!

Why was the runner afraid to leave his home?
– He was not sure if he could stand on his own two feet!

I saw a man going up a hill with a trolley full of horseshoes, four leaf clovers and rabbit’s feet…
– I thought, “Well he’s pushing his luck!”

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