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Garden puns in 2025

What’s a gardener’s favourite Beatles song?
– Lettuce Be.

Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?

What did the grape say when it was crushed?
– Nothing, but it let out a little wine.

Succulents are plant-tastic.

I’m always smiling, but inside I feel hollow.

Don’t moss around

Why is The Hulk such a good gardener?
– Because he’s got green fingers.

Wood you be mine? (cutest punny card ever)

Why are frogs so happy?
– They eat whatever bugs them.

You’re stuck with me.

Soil of the century

Cleaning my cold frame is a pane in the glass.

Thistle be the best day ever.

The raisin wined about how he couldn’t achieve grapeness.

Our farm is haunted by chickens. You could say that we have a poultry-geist problem.

Your good seed for the day

I’ve started to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me how I find the time. I tell them “it’s next to the sage”.

Garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sale of fresh flowers.

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