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Grape puns in 2025

My mom asked me if I wanted a glass of wine. I said to her “wine not”.

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“What’s purple and 5000 miles long?” “Ooh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”

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I like to read news articles about grapes
I like to buff up on currant events.

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My friends asked me why I hang my grapes outside to dry. I replied: “I have my raisins.”

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When he began pouring his wine over ice cubes, she knew that their relationship was clearly on the rocks.

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What did the grape say when it got crushed?
– Nothing. It just let out a little wine.

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A grape walked into a fruit mixer and didn’t even thank the mixer for not squishing it. He was quite an ungrapeful one.

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How did the grape get to be so wise?
– By raisin awareness

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Billy drank so much wine at the night club that when he walked across that dance floor to get more wine, he won that dance competition.

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Alexander the Grape

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My friends asked me why I hang my grapes outside to dry
– I told them, “I have my raisins.”

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My brother achieved grapeness by successfully making grape jelly.

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Please don’t give me any more reason to wine.

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How do you grow
– A seedless grape?

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My friend is making a song about preserves. He says it is his currant jam.

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What do you put as one of the Instagram captions on the day that you have grapes in the morning?
– Have a grape day.

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Wine a little, laugh a lot.

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Grapes don’t cry when they’re crushed
– But they do wine

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