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Green puns in 2025

How do you know Kermit didn’t have asthma?
– Because it’s not wheezy being green.

What do keepers sometimes feed to captive animals?
– Zoo-chini.

I overheard a traffic light talking the other day. The green light exclaimed to the red light, “Don’t look! I’m changing!”

What’s green and red and goes up and down up and down?
– A frog in a blender

This has probably been said a thousand times, but my girlfriend somehow didn’t find it hysterical.
While making dinner tonight for the family, my girlfriend wanted to add more of that dark, leafy, and easily pun-able green called Kale.
Girlfriend: Can I add more kale?
Me: Won’t that be over-kale?

There’s one great green fruit that you should eat to maintain your fitness levels. Try adding a little avocardio into your diet.

My eldest was asking me the other day what green energy was. I replied, “Well, you mix blue and yellow energy together…”

Did you hear what the coffee said to the green tea?
– Sorry I’m latte.

Bean thinking about donating to our school fundraiser? Lettuce give you some advice.

I threw my green hat into the Black sea the other day to see what would happen. Nothing did; it just got wet.

Herb your enthusiasm

Looking for a green joke about golf?
– Let’s have a pun part-tee.

If a gardener was to sculpt an outdoor church, it would surely include some stained grass windows.

Have an olive-ly birthday.

There’s a very well known singer you may have heard of… He was totally green, and his name was Elvis Parsley.

I love you so matcha.

Did you hear about the green salad that mysteriously disappeared?
– All I uncovered were the chard romaines.

Mange tout is the most chilled out vegetable that you can find. It has discovered its inner peas.

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