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Green puns in 2024

What is kermit the Frog’s excuse for not recycling?
– “It’s not easy being green”

My friend enrolled on an art course, but had to quit halfway through. He just couldn’t make head nor teal of it.

I wanted to paint our living room bright green. All I could do was keep dropping tints.

Do you understand the instructions for this art project?
– I can’t make head nor teal of it.

Green vegetables love going to camp, they get to be Brussel Scouts for the summer.

Leprechauns love to cycle. They’re trying really hard to be even more green than they are.

How can you tell the ocean is friendly? — It waves.

Have we green tea here before?
– I’m getting deja brew.

As green jokes go, this is a sad one. A man went outside one day to find someone had taken all the new turf piled on his driveway, he was quite for-lawn.

Oh kale yeah.

It’s not the end of the world if you spill green tea down yourself. At least now you have a green tea shirt.

Get a twiggle on

What do green fruit do you eat to keep in tip-top shape?
– A little avo-cardio.

Have you heard of the green tea drinker’s anthem?
– It goes “Sweet dreams are made of tea, who am I to diss a green…”

You have to have nerves of teal to step out of the house wearing an all green outfit.

What’s green and sits in a wheelchair?
– A dead, moldy spastic!

One day a teacher asked her students to use the word beans in a sentence and got some funny results. One student said my mum grows beans, his friend added my dad cooks beans, and another student in the class said we’re all human beans!

Did you know that there is such a thing as a green shellfish?
– They’re called shamrock lobsters.

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