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Green puns in 2025

Don’t stop the beetroot

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Have a green thumb

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Stadiums are going to be so much hotter this summer
They’ll be missing all their fans…
Thanks Hank Green!

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You kale me with kindness.

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What is big, green and can kill you if it falls out of a tree?
– A pool table.

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I was recently diagnosed as being colourblind, it really came out of the green.

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There is one past US President that particularly loved his vegetables, his name is Broc-Obama.

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I was sailing at sea when I came across a banana boat carrying a lettuce. It suddenly shouted out “Iceberg, right ahead!”

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If you ever have a pirate to dinner, be sure to serve their favorite green vegetable. In case you didn’t know, it’s an arrr-tichoke.

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You know why environmentalism is said to be green?
– Because the earth is sick of the hypocrisy of the protesters who claim to be defending it.

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Do you know why green beans are so zen?
– They’ve finally found their inner peas.

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I overheard a green bean meeting a banana for the first time the other day. The bean asked, “How are you peeling today?”

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Your good seed for the day

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What did the golf course say to the golfer?
– You are tee-riffic.

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What do you call the guy who is always sitting in the garden sunbathing?
– Your brother-in-lawn.

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You may be a bit green, but I leek you.

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Shrek and The Hulk have very similar political beliefs. They both always vote for the Green party.

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Mmm, matcha say?

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