Hand puns in 2025

I wanted to look cool at my friend’s dance class so I said anyone can do a handstand. When the teacher asked me to do it I asked my friend to place his hand on the floor and I merely just stood on it.

Movies lied about how the fall of civilisation would happen. They promised zombies and car chases with trucks covered in spikes but really its just working from home and singing happy birthday to yourself as you wash your hands

The date of my upper arm surgery got moved to a sooner date than I anticipated. Well, I guess that is a wait off of my shoulders.

What would you call the elbow of the man who directed the movie Malcolm X? Spike Lee Joint.

Where is it most unsafe to play the “pull my finger” game?
At the leper colony.

How many bones do you think a human hand would have? Umm, a handful maybe?

I’ve washed my hands so much that now are greeting me. It surely is because of my hi gene.

My wrists always hurt whenever I’m driving to work along with my co-workers, and we go through a tunnel. I’m starting to think it may be carpool tunnel syndrome.

Why is it better to amputate close to the shoulder? Because it’s twice as much work cutting off forearms.

What did the thumb say to the finger?
I’m in glove with you!

Why do the fingers refuse to agree with the thumbs? This is because the thumbs can be opposable.

The man who invented the wrist-watch probably had too much time on his hands.

I got in an accident last month, and the doctors told me that they would have to remove my left arm and left leg. At that time, I realized that I had no more left to lose.

Why should you always thank your arms? For always being by your side.

I broke my finger last week.
On the other hand I’m ok.

I was at the buffet line in a restaurant and as I asked what’s special for today, a lady handed her baby to me. I smiled and said, “no thank you, I am a pure vegetarian”. She was shocked I guess.

The guy who invented hand sanitiser must be rubbing his hands together right now

There was a boxer in our area who had a problem lifting his arm. It seemed that all his opponents had the upper hand.