Hand puns in 2024

What did the thumb say to the finger?
I’m in glove with you!

Why do the fingers refuse to agree with the thumbs? This is because the thumbs can be opposable.

The man who invented the wrist-watch probably had too much time on his hands.

I got in an accident last month, and the doctors told me that they would have to remove my left arm and left leg. At that time, I realized that I had no more left to lose.

Why should you always thank your arms? For always being by your side.

I broke my finger last week.
On the other hand I’m ok.

I was at the buffet line in a restaurant and as I asked what’s special for today, a lady handed her baby to me. I smiled and said, “no thank you, I am a pure vegetarian”. She was shocked I guess.

The guy who invented hand sanitiser must be rubbing his hands together right now

There was a boxer in our area who had a problem lifting his arm. It seemed that all his opponents had the upper hand.

What happened to the action star who broke her wrist during the shooting of a movie? She was still kept in the cast.

What do you call a tree fingers grow on?
A palm tree

What are the best names for your right-hand watchdogs? Rolex or Timex.

I auditioned for a carpenter’s hand and nailed it.

My brother was working on my motorcycle with me yesterday, and he exclaimed: “Oh God! This is impossible. It’s like I need four arms for this”.

What would you call a group made of arms? They’d be called an army.

What do you call an extra finger?
I don’t know, but you can always count on it more than the others.

Why do you think fingers are always a reliable body part? No matter what, you can always count on them.

When I got some fruit preserves on my finger, the doctor said they were jammed. He was kind of funny.