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Hand puns in 2025

There was a boxer in our area who had a problem lifting his arm. It seemed that all his opponents had the upper hand.

What happened to the action star who broke her wrist during the shooting of a movie? She was still kept in the cast.

What do you call a tree fingers grow on?
A palm tree

What are the best names for your right-hand watchdogs? Rolex or Timex.

I auditioned for a carpenter’s hand and nailed it.

My brother was working on my motorcycle with me yesterday, and he exclaimed: “Oh God! This is impossible. It’s like I need four arms for this”.

What would you call a group made of arms? They’d be called an army.

What do you call an extra finger?
I don’t know, but you can always count on it more than the others.

Why do you think fingers are always a reliable body part? No matter what, you can always count on them.

When I got some fruit preserves on my finger, the doctor said they were jammed. He was kind of funny.

The weatherman of our local TV channel recently broke both his legs and arms in an accident. He called in from the hospital to mention the forecasts.

Why wasn’t the guy with the fire tattoo on his arm allowed in the building? Because there was a sign that said, “no firearms allowed inside.”

What is the opposite of lady fingers?
Mentos

I was so great with political science that I knew it on the back of my hand. But now it is difficult to know my left from my right.

Rash on my hands from washing them too much. Don’t want to brag but in the current climate that’s basically a Victoria Cross

I called my boss to say that I couldn’t get into our office’s security system al-arm when I was locking up the office last night. She sounded unal-armed.

Why did the guy wear two watches on his wrist, one on each hand? Because he wanted to have a lot of time on his hands.

Julius Caesar walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers
And says “Give me five beers”.

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