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Hand puns in 2025

I have a scar from an axe on my finger
It was an axident

My father slipped in the bathroom today and ask my mother for a hand. She started clapping and we all burst into laughter.

My hands are so dry they feel like they belong to someone else

If you swat a mosquito on your arm, he died in vein.

Why don’t octopi have forearms? It’s because they have eight arms.

I was cleaning my finger gun the other day…
And shot a hole in my air guitar.

What tree can fit in one’s hand? A palm tree.

Is it a fair deal to get married? On one hand, they would wear a ring, but on the other, they wouldn’t.

I cut the arms of my already broken doll to make it new again. It was one of the best decisions I made, hands down.

What did the doctor suggest to the guy that broke his arm in four places? The doctor told him to stop going to the four places.

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says
“Five beers, please.”

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