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Hat puns in 2025

If I were a sorting hat, I would put you inside my house!

Why do magicians wear top hats?
– So the audience can’t see their hare!

When a goldfish wears a top hat, it becomes so-fish-ticated.

What do you call a crimson-colored fish wearing a hat?
– A red herring…the hat was also a red herring.

What do you call a little guy in a pointy hat on a train saying “tick tick tick”?
– A metro-gnome

The Chinese man, who is wearing a hat, walks into the Starbuck store and orders a cap – pu – china.

I just see a big cat that wears a very flamboyant hat. I think it is a dandy lion.

What time is it when a hippo sits on your hat?
– Time for a new hat.

Why does our best hockey player wear a hat not a helmet?
– He wants to score a hat-trick.

An irritable person who likes berets is a “hat-head”.

The Queen wears a teacup-shaped hat
– because she is royal-tea.

What do we call a can that wears a Christmas hat?
– It is called an A – merry – can.

What does the hat say to the scarf?
– “You will hang around there, and I will go on ahead.

To make any boat a hat, flip it over and it becomes cap-sised!

I saw a construction cone doing weird dances in the street and wearing a clown hat. I asked the construction crew that that cone is made from.
– They replied, “sili-cone”

What is the Sorting Hat’s favourite relationship advice?
– Slytherin.

You look cap-tivating!

What is the most favourite hat of a cripple?
– A handi – cap!

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