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Hat puns in 2025

Did you hear about the Frenchman at the hat shop who kept getting yelled at by his boss?
– He got tired of being beret-ted all of the time.

The soldier with the biggest hat in the army has the biggest head.

Which person wears the largest hat in your school?
– The student with the largest head!

Hatters gonna hat!

There’s a rule that limits the number of hats. I guess you can say they put a cap on it.

Don’t worry about other kids saying bad things about your hat. Haters gonna hat.

Which actress dislikes hats?
– It’s Anne Hat-away.

We are in an environmental crisis
– because the ice-caps are melting.

Do you know why that football player on my team is wearing a hat when playing?
– Because he wants to score a hat – trick.

I saw an advert saying “Hairpieces from £5”. I thought, “That’s a small price toupee”.

A dinosaur that wears a dressy hat and a monocle, and drinks tea is a tea-rex.

Two hats were having a chat
“You stay here,” one said, “I’ll go on ahead.”

I was unprepared for a pun about Canadian winter hats…
– It really toque me by surprise!

Do you hear anything about that perverted magician?
– He can pull his top hat out of the bunny.

On my birthday, my mother gave me a bowler hat. I really liked it
– because it made me look adorabowler!

Never trust a man wearing a hat. They’re always trying to cover something up.

On my birthday my friend gave me a bowler hat. It didn’t work though. My bowling average is still terrible.

You could say cowboy hats are “well-rounded”.

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