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Herb puns in 2024

She handed me a jar and said, “This herb goes well with pork, beef, duck and chicken recipes, and fatty meats in particular.”
– I looked at the label and thought, “That is some sage advice.”

I’m so damn tired of these daily repetitive boring Herb jokes. Honestly..
– It’s Thyme to stop.

What do you call someone who gives away free herbs? A cilantropist.

While trimming leaves in the garden, I accidentally cut off a rose plant. Thankfully, my mother didn’t make a big dill about it.

There was a herb poetry competition at my sister’s school. She got the first prize
– because she had the perfect thyme scheme.

My wife was experimenting in the kitchen. She added some spices into the oil, and the whole thing spilled over. I did not see that cumin.

I told my wife, “I’m going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on.”
She said, “Where would you find the time?”

I said, “That should be easy. Next to the sage.”

A friend of mine just died from eating too many herbs
– It was his Thyme

I tried to make a belt out of Italian herbs, but it didn’t work
– It was just a waist of thyme

I was sending out so many greeting cards for Christmas. A few accidentally fell inside the spice storage. Now they’re seasoned greetings. If you want more Christmas humor, have a laugh with these funny Christmas quotes.

I can’t believe my best friend did not season my pizza with herbs. It is a basil thing one should know.

A new movie is being released next week. It is about a herb traveling to outer spice.

I accidentally killed off my herb garden twice. As I replanted it yet again I thought to myself…
“Third thyme’s a charm.”

Based on a true story. Wife’s eyeroll suggested this 100% belonged here.

Herb puns
– Today my chef asked me to grab her some spices. I yelled from outside ” I’m cumin, just give me some thyme “

My friend Herb was kidnapped!
– I just received a ransom call from a unrecognized number asking if I want to get Herb alive

My dad invented a belt made of herbs that takes you 5 minutes into the future.
– It took 6 minutes to put on. It was a waist of thyme

I told my wife that I’m going to arrange all the herbs in alphabetical order from now on.
She said, “Where would you find the time?”

I said, “Easy. Right next to the sage.”

I just signed up for a cooking competition. I am really nervous, but I know that I have to bay-leaf in myself.

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