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History puns in 2024

The problem with studying history is that the teachers just seem to Babylon.

Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don’t care.

One of the historical figures to play music with has got to be the talented Mr. Ben-jam-in Franklin.

Why did Karl Marx dislike Early Grey tea?

– Because proper tea is theft.

Henry VIII had breathing troubles – he had no heir!

We were debating about Charles Darwin in class when the teacher warned us,
– “Don’t let this evolve into an argument.”

How was the Roman Empire Cut in Half?
– With a pair of Caesars

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency
– even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting.

After having learned the history of chess, I have come to the conclusion that all chess players have quite a checkered past.

Robert E. Lee was voted most likely to Secede in his high school yearbook.

When Lincoln had asked Republican Senator John if he would aid him in capturing Atlanta, he replied, “Sher-man!”

I believe in reincarnation because I know I was the Trojan guard who saw the horse and was like,
– ‘Wow, it’s stunning! Open the gates! Let that big horse in!

When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III, he told said, “Over my dead body.”

When I asked my Teacher in History class if she could tell us more about Napoleon’s origin, she replied,”‘Course I can!”

Why is history like a fruit cake?
– It’s full of dates.

Nobody knows about Napoleon’s brother because they were born-apart-e

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
– Plymouth Rock.

When my teacher asked me if I knew who built the ark in History class,
– I answered, “I have Noah idea!”

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