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History puns in 2024

I wonder why Lenin didn’t realize that communism would fail to work.
– There were so many red flags everywhere.

It is no wonder that Thomas Jefferson was thus named, his father was after Jefferdad.

A Frenchman walks into a library and asks for a book on warfare.
– The librarian replies, “You’ll only lose it.”

After the Palace of Versailles was completed, Louis XIV felt Baroque and roll.

When the teacher got frustrated because the students weren’t paying attention to the class about Isaac Newton,
– he exclaimed, “Don’t you understand the gravity of this situation?”

Why were the early days of history called The Dark Ages?
– Because there were so many knights

A Roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says,
– “Five beers, please!”

A snake’s favorite subject to study in school is Hisssstory.

Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?

– Because there were so many knights.

When Julius Ceasar got defeated by Brutus in ‘Battleship,’ he said, “A2 Brute?”

In a fallen knight’s grave, the epitaph usually reads “Rust in Peace.”

I General Lee do not find punny history jokes about the Civil War funny.

My teacher told me in History class to do some light reading on the history of the light bulb.

Two wrongs don’t make a right.
– But two Wrights did make an airplane!

A salad that requires to be eaten with 23 knives is called a Caesar salad.

How was the Roman Empire cut in half?

– With a pair of Caesars.

What was King Arthur’s favorite game?

– Knights and crosses.

The English Pilgrims’ favorite type of flower is the May Flower.

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