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History puns in 2024

The colonized do not like British tea. They only want liber-tea.

The sweetest and fruitiest historical wonder of the world is the Grape Wall of China.

Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea?

– Because all proper tea is theft.

Alexander did not like eating chicken legs because he hated defeat.

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
– At the bottom!

The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.

Before America was founded, the idea of a democratic nation in the New World was unPresidented.

I saw the Liberty Bell.

– It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

Once upon a time, there was a king who loves traveling through tunnels. The people gave him the name: Alex-Under.

Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?

– Because there were so many knights.

Catherine and Peter performed great in ‘Dancing with the Tsar’last night. But Ivan was terrible.

When I gave the wrong answer about Austrian composers in class,
– my teacher said, “Are you Schubert that?”

How did the Vikings send secret messages?
– By Norse code!

Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?

– Because there were so many knights.

The biggest irony in the world’s history is that the Russian alphabet has no letters in lowercase.
– It is all Capitalization.

Immanuel doesn’t pun, he Kant.

If someone else would have invented the airplane, it wouldn’t have been Wright.

Teacher: Can you describe for me Napoleon’s origin?

– Student: ‘Course I can!

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