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History puns in 2024

How did Louis XIV feel after completing the Palace of Versailles?

– Baroque.

I had a friend who got a Ph.D. in the history of Palindromes. He is now called Dr. Awkward.

How does Moses make coffee?

– Hebrews it.

There are countless marble-lous statues in Greece, but we always take them for Granite.

Who invented fractions?

– Henry the 1/8th.

Karl Marx dislikes EarlGrey Tea because proper-tea is theft.

When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.

What did King George think of the American colonies?
– He thought they were revolting.

Franz Joseph constantly sour about everything because he was always Haydn.

Why were Native Americans in America first?

– They had reservations.

During the Great Depression, President Hoover didn’t give a dam.

When the Frenchman asked for a book on warfare on Battle of Waterloo from his librarian, she said, “You’re just going to lose it.”

The type of lighting that Noah had used in his ark was Floodlights.

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.
– The bartender asks, “You mean a martini?”

– The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I’d have asked for one.”

Napoleon conquered too much lang because he had too little Toulouse.

How did Louis XIV feel after completing the Palace of Versailles?
– Baroque.

If George Frederic Handel would be born in the modern era, his favorite song would be “Club Can’t Even Handel Me.”

The problem with studying history is that the teachers just seem to Babylon.

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