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History puns in 2024

I believe in reincarnation because I know I was the Trojan guard who saw the horse and was like,
– ‘Wow, it’s stunning! Open the gates! Let that big horse in!

When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III, he told said, “Over my dead body.”

When I asked my Teacher in History class if she could tell us more about Napoleon’s origin, she replied,”‘Course I can!”

Why is history like a fruit cake?
– It’s full of dates.

Nobody knows about Napoleon’s brother because they were born-apart-e

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
– Plymouth Rock.

When my teacher asked me if I knew who built the ark in History class,
– I answered, “I have Noah idea!”

The colonized do not like British tea. They only want liber-tea.

The sweetest and fruitiest historical wonder of the world is the Grape Wall of China.

Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea?

– Because all proper tea is theft.

Alexander did not like eating chicken legs because he hated defeat.

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
– At the bottom!

The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.

Before America was founded, the idea of a democratic nation in the New World was unPresidented.

I saw the Liberty Bell.

– It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

Once upon a time, there was a king who loves traveling through tunnels. The people gave him the name: Alex-Under.

Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?

– Because there were so many knights.

Catherine and Peter performed great in ‘Dancing with the Tsar’last night. But Ivan was terrible.

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