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Kitchen puns in 2025

Did you know there are exactly 239 beans in Irish stew? Any more and it would be two farty…

Billie Joe Armstrong never uses the help of any assistants while cooking as he woks alone!

I have fillings for you.

My wife is always threatening to harm me if I keep stealing her kitchen utensils…
but that’s a wisk I’m willing to take.

We were on a boating trip, and one of my sisters was cooking a wok at the back of the vessel. Later, I found out that she was preparing a stern fry!

Yesterday morning, I saw my wife cooking breakfast in her bedroom slippers. I wonder why she doesn’t use the frying pan!

The only classical music maestro who can prepare good dishes in a TV program is Show Pan.

You want a pizza this?

Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli?
– He was dragged down by a currant..

While cooking, I got ketchup in my eye,
– but I didn’t wash it because Heinzsight is 20/20!

My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. “What are you doing?” she asked him. “I’m going to have a bake sale to buy a car,” he answered. “Where on earth did you get that idea? We’re in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!” He said…
“I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma.”

Have you met the Chef yet?
– He’s a very knife guy.

Rick went to a Chinese restaurant to have a beverage. He asked the waiter for more tea!

Thyme flies when you have a long cooking day!

Last night my son saw a mouse in the kitchen so he wiped down all the counters and cleaned everything…
Tonight I’m putting the mouse in the bathroom.

My server slammed a glass of water down, tossed a spoon with a knife on the table and stomped off back to the kitchen. I pondered about their attitude for a moment and then it hit me…
They just didn’t give a fork…

I was boiling vegetables in the saucepan the other day when my wife went to move it… I said careful, it’s got a leek in it.

So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says, “I’m the gratest.”

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