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Kitchen puns in 2025

I get a thrill out of stealing kitchen utensils
I’m a whisk taker

There’s a lot at steak here.

If you cross a waitress and a chef, you will end up with a cold meal!

From my 70 year old dad: I hung up a map of the US in the kitchen and gave my wife a dart. I told her we would go on a two week vacation wherever she stuck the dart.
Looks like we’ll be spending two weeks behind the fridge.

3 domesticated Rams are in the kitchen, labelled A, B & C
If you put a pumpkin on ram A, nothing happens. If you put a pumpkin on ram B you get the same result.

But if you put a pumpkin on Ram C it starts knocking things off counters, making a mess and abusing the kitchen staff.

I guess that is what happens when you put a gourd on ram c in the kitchen.

If you pay for your kitchen remodel with fake bills…
You’re counterfeiting the counter fitter.

I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.

Wife is frying a lot of mushrooms in a tiny pan. Me: Doesn’t look like you have mushroom left in there

I cloned myself and he is following me everywhere. To the garage, kitchen, bathroom….
Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself

I robbed a kitchen utensil store
I like to take whisks

The only eggs that are strictly forbidden at churches are deviled eggs!

If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks… Are you testing its utensil strength?

Don’t go bacon my heart.

I just realized my kitchen countertop is made out of marble.
I have been taking it for granite all these years.

Did you know there are exactly 239 beans in Irish stew? Any more and it would be two farty…

Billie Joe Armstrong never uses the help of any assistants while cooking as he woks alone!

I have fillings for you.

My wife is always threatening to harm me if I keep stealing her kitchen utensils…
but that’s a wisk I’m willing to take.

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