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Kitchen puns in 2025

I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.

Wife is frying a lot of mushrooms in a tiny pan. Me: Doesn’t look like you have mushroom left in there

I cloned myself and he is following me everywhere. To the garage, kitchen, bathroom….
Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself

I robbed a kitchen utensil store
I like to take whisks

The only eggs that are strictly forbidden at churches are deviled eggs!

If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks… Are you testing its utensil strength?

Don’t go bacon my heart.

I just realized my kitchen countertop is made out of marble.
I have been taking it for granite all these years.

Did you know there are exactly 239 beans in Irish stew? Any more and it would be two farty…

Billie Joe Armstrong never uses the help of any assistants while cooking as he woks alone!

I have fillings for you.

My wife is always threatening to harm me if I keep stealing her kitchen utensils…
but that’s a wisk I’m willing to take.

We were on a boating trip, and one of my sisters was cooking a wok at the back of the vessel. Later, I found out that she was preparing a stern fry!

Yesterday morning, I saw my wife cooking breakfast in her bedroom slippers. I wonder why she doesn’t use the frying pan!

The only classical music maestro who can prepare good dishes in a TV program is Show Pan.

You want a pizza this?

Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli?
– He was dragged down by a currant..

While cooking, I got ketchup in my eye,
– but I didn’t wash it because Heinzsight is 20/20!

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