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Kitchen puns in 2024

My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. “What are you doing?” she asked him. “I’m going to have a bake sale to buy a car,” he answered. “Where on earth did you get that idea? We’re in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!” He said…
“I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma.”

Have you met the Chef yet?
– He’s a very knife guy.

Rick went to a Chinese restaurant to have a beverage. He asked the waiter for more tea!

Thyme flies when you have a long cooking day!

Last night my son saw a mouse in the kitchen so he wiped down all the counters and cleaned everything…
Tonight I’m putting the mouse in the bathroom.

My server slammed a glass of water down, tossed a spoon with a knife on the table and stomped off back to the kitchen. I pondered about their attitude for a moment and then it hit me…
They just didn’t give a fork…

I was boiling vegetables in the saucepan the other day when my wife went to move it… I said careful, it’s got a leek in it.

So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says, “I’m the gratest.”

I went into the kitchen and saw a hurricane making a pot of tea
I thought hmm, there’s a storm brewing

Kitchen scale
My 5 yr old son pulled down the kitchen scale and asked me what it was for. I explained what it was and we left the kitchen.

Later, my wife asks me what our son was asking about so I told her we were talking about what the kitchen scale is used for. She then asks me “Why is it still on the counter? Why didn’t you put it away?!”

I said “Because, we were weighing his options.”

My friend’s father wanted to be in the army, but owing to dyslexia, he became a chef. But that didn’t dampen his attitude. He went all buns blazing in the kitchen!

My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table.
– I had to get a running start but I made it!

Hit me with your best pot.

My Brother used to Steal from Kitchen Supply Stores..
He was always the whisk-taker in the family.

My kids say my cooking is incredible… with a silent ‘cr’

My wife was fighting me about doing our kitchen in granite or laminate. She finally told me that we just can’t afford granite right now.
I have to admit… it was a pretty good counter argument.

I like you berry much.

a friend of mine dared me to steal some kitchen supplies
but that just wasn’t a whisk I was willing to take

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