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Knife puns in 2025

The person made an attempt of mugging me using a blunt knife the other day.-It had been totally pointless.

Nothing is more threatening than an intelligent woman
– Oh, really?-
– How about an intelligent woman, with a knife

Luke Skywalker & Obi Wan Kenobi were in a restaurant eating with chopsticks. Spotting that his friend was struggling with the cutlery, Obi Wan said “use the forks, Luke”.

Why shouldn’t you sharpen a blunt knife?
– There’s just no point.

What happened to the application of the dull knife?
– It had been turned down and he simply was not able to make the cut.

2 members of the Swiss army get in to a knife fight,
– then a corkscrew fight then a twezzer fight then a ……

My friend is trying to persuade me to invest in his knife making business.
– He made some excellent points.

I wanted to tell a knife joke to my friend- But it just won’t cut it

I need a pencil sharpener.
– Just to put it bluntly.

When I was not able to find a knife for cutting open the package I used a CD instead for getting the job done.
– The knife I bought yesterday has got cutting-edge technology.

I just gave a homeless guy 530 dollars and my new iPhone x
– He was so happy he even put his knife back in his pocket

I knew a guy in jail who would never knife a man in the back or when he was down
– He was the very model of shivalry

Advice from an old native American hunter:-Never go hunting for buffalo with a dull spear, it is pointless.

What was told by the knife to the other one?
– Knife to see you.

I found out a flourishing knife company.-Key to success happens to be the most recent cutting-edge technology used by us.

I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging few years ago.-
– Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.

Found a fork in the road the other day. It was outside my local chip shop…

Used a dad joke on my dad
– He was sharpening a pencil with his pocket knife but kept cutting the end off. “Dad if you keep this up its just going to be pointless.”

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