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Knife puns in 2024

What was told by the knife to the tuxedo?
– Looking sharp.

I started carrying a knife after a mugging attempt a few years ago.
– Since then, my mugging attempts have been much more successful.

What kind of food does a toddler prepare with a sharp knife in the kitchen?
– Finger food.

What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?
– A heartless killer.

When it comes to sharpening pencils,
– there’s never a dull moment.

Have you heard of the woman who was able to stop a knife fight by making use of cake batter?
-She definitely took a whisk boldly.

My friend told me I always say phrases wrong
– But he’s not the brightest knife in the chandelier

Inventor displays the first knife ever.
– His friend, “that’s the greatest invention since bread”
– Inventor, “well I’m about to blow your mind”

I like to dissapoint.
– Screw you point!! You are so dull you are pointless!!

The person made an attempt of mugging me using a blunt knife the other day.-It had been totally pointless.

Nothing is more threatening than an intelligent woman
– Oh, really?-
– How about an intelligent woman, with a knife

Luke Skywalker & Obi Wan Kenobi were in a restaurant eating with chopsticks. Spotting that his friend was struggling with the cutlery, Obi Wan said “use the forks, Luke”.

Why shouldn’t you sharpen a blunt knife?
– There’s just no point.

It’s knife to see you all!

What happened to the application of the dull knife?
– It had been turned down and he simply was not able to make the cut.

2 members of the Swiss army get in to a knife fight,
– then a corkscrew fight then a twezzer fight then a ……

My friend is trying to persuade me to invest in his knife making business.
– He made some excellent points.

I wanted to tell a knife joke to my friend- But it just won’t cut it

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