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Knife puns in 2025

Where does a pencil sharpener keep its money?
– In a shavings account.

Have you listened to the particular joke regarding the knife?

What’s the best way to calm down a knife-wielding girlfriend?
– Please answer quickly

Girls always want guys to chase after them
– But when I’m holding a knife, apparently it’s “wrong”

Why shouldn’t you sharpen a blunt knife?
– There’s just no point.

I began to carry in knife following an attempted mugging.

I always believed that we all have the habit of licking knifes clean after we are done with them
– My surgeon friends disagreed

I know there’s been a lot of debate over how to pronounce gif…
– But can we all at least agree that it rhymes with knife?

For me, getting girls is like spreading butter…
– It’s much easier with a knife.

Took my Bowie knife to the blacksmith to get sharpened, when he saw it he said he hadn’t seen one in while…
…I could tell he was really excited because he got a huge honer.

My daddy is in the habit of stabbing clocks using his knife.
– According to him it is an interesting way to kill time.

I stabbed the opponent with my knife to preserve ammo
– The paintball arena staff threw me out for some reason.

At the steak house my wife exclaims, “Stop playing with your knife! You’ll hurt yourself!” I reply, “These knives are so dull …
– A Rabbi would be furious and a foreskin would be irritated.”

My friend is trying to persuade me to invest in his knife making business
– He made some excellent points.

Why is the sharpener always invited to the pencil case debates?
– He always makes a good point and the pencils tend to very blunt when he’s not around.

I need to admit that it was somewhat dull.

In the middle of the battle, I decided to use a knife to preserve my ammo.
– All the other paintball players started freaking out though.

What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?
– A pairing knife

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