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Knife puns in 2025

Did you hear that famous blonde haired actress has been stabbed?
– She’s called Reese, Erm… Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

What do my existence and an unsharpened pencil have in common?
– They’re both dull and pointless.

One person presented me a knife a few days earlier and told that it was extremely smart.

I expected my new knife to be effective with meats.-However, it is simply not cutting it.

I was sharpening my hatchet…
– …and my wife asked, “hows your knife sharpening going?”

– “I think I made my point,” I replied.

What is a knife joining the track team called?
– Blade Runner.

Once a man named his cats Spoon, Fork and Knife
– They were his Catlery

What do you call a knife that does heroin?
– A sharp shooter

What is the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend?
– The knife has a point.

“Hey, can you help me sharpen these throwing stars?”
– “Shuriken”

My wife requested for a knife which was sharper.
– The other one simply was not cutting it.

I must be in the minority, but I always lick my knife when I’m done
– None of the other surgeons seem to do it !

The knife that Abraham used to kill Isaac has been found in Britain.
– Apparently, it was a Dyson.

I decided to switch to a knife to preserve my ammo- The guys at Laser Tag started freaking out though.

teacher in workshop laughed when I said I could make a deadly knife out of cotton…
-…After I sharpened the tip, he backed down saying, “I see you’ve made your point.”

I made certain that the knife did not outsmart me.

Although the majority of the individuals having lots of knives appear to be dangerous, they are actually knife people.

Never trust a surgeon
– They will put a knife in your back whilst you’re not looking.

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