Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Knife puns in 2025

I was walking down the street with a friend and we saw two blind guys fighting
– We got closer and I said “My bet is on the one with the knife.”
– They both ran

Knife sharpening has always been and will always be cutting-edge technology

Kermit having a flip knife.

My grandfather used to say ” never bring a knife to a gunfight”!!
– He was right. The paintball arena banned me for life.

People always say don’t bring a knife to a gun fight..
– I don’t know, I always thought the person with the knife has the edge

I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging a few years ago.
– Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.

The pencil sharpeners at my school are racist.
– They have signs next to them that say “No Colored Pencils”.

What are the fresh innovations in the knife technology known as?
– Cutting edge technology.

I bought a knife than can cut through four loaves of bread at once
– It’s a four loaf cleaver

Last Thanksgiving, I cut my hand with the carving knife so my idiot brother-in-law grabs my bloody wound and starts twisting it. I screamed, “Ouch! What are you doing!!”
– He said, “I’m applying a turn-a-cut.”

What’s the difference between a knife and an argument with a man?
– The knife has a point.

Where does a pencil sharpener keep its money?
– In a shavings account.

Have you listened to the particular joke regarding the knife?

What’s the best way to calm down a knife-wielding girlfriend?
– Please answer quickly

Girls always want guys to chase after them
– But when I’m holding a knife, apparently it’s “wrong”

Why shouldn’t you sharpen a blunt knife?
– There’s just no point.

I began to carry in knife following an attempted mugging.

I always believed that we all have the habit of licking knifes clean after we are done with them
– My surgeon friends disagreed

Follow us on Facebook