Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Knife puns in 2025

I made a clock. The big hand is a butcher’s knife, the small hand is a paring knife, and the clock face is a sharpening stone.
– There’s never a dull moment.

I watched the footage of an individual stabbing somebody using a hot knife.-It was quite heartwarming.

What did the cake say to the knife?
– You want a piece of me?

Once Chuck Norris threw a knife in Call of Duty
– And killed someone in Battlefield

The knife that Abraham used to kill Isaac has been found in Britain.
– Apparently, it was a Dyson

There was an incident at my school today–one of the teachers caught a boy sharpening an arrowhead under his desk. She called 911, and the police got involved.
– As it turns out, though, it was just a kid knapping.

Is simply was not able to cut it any longer.

A bandage is giving a speech to an auditorium full of people when all of a sudden, in walks a leg with a knife wound…
…the bandage says “I suppose we better wrap this up”

I can’t think of a good knife pun.
– Anybody want to take a stab at it?

How do you surprise someone who is dull and drab and boring?
– Unique up on ’em

Your mom happens to be so ugly that she was able to turn a knife into a motionless statue.

What is the knife which King Arthur uses for cutting his omelettes called?
– Eggxcalibur.

A thief pointed a knife at me and said “your money or your life”-
– I smiled and told him I was married, so I have no money or a life. He dropped the knife and we hugged and cried for a moment.

Probably already been said, but it made me chuckle when I thought of it.
– A man has been found dead in central London this evening, reports confirm the man died due to being stabbed with a triangular knife.
– Police are calling it an isoscelated incident.

What do you call a pencil sharpener that can’t sharpen pencils?
– Broken

What is the favorite knife of a cow?
– A moo-chete.

I was cutting into an apple the other day and the knife broke as it reached the centre.
… that’s pretty hard core.

I used my knife to conserve ammo…
– the rest of the paintball tournament were horrified

Follow us on Facebook