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Knife puns in 2025

“Hey, can you help me sharpen these throwing stars?”
– “Shuriken”

My wife requested for a knife which was sharper.
– The other one simply was not cutting it.

I must be in the minority, but I always lick my knife when I’m done
– None of the other surgeons seem to do it !

The knife that Abraham used to kill Isaac has been found in Britain.
– Apparently, it was a Dyson.

I decided to switch to a knife to preserve my ammo- The guys at Laser Tag started freaking out though.

teacher in workshop laughed when I said I could make a deadly knife out of cotton…
-…After I sharpened the tip, he backed down saying, “I see you’ve made your point.”

I made certain that the knife did not outsmart me.

Although the majority of the individuals having lots of knives appear to be dangerous, they are actually knife people.

Never trust a surgeon
– They will put a knife in your back whilst you’re not looking.

My wife made me dinner the other day. She got offended when I put down my knife and fork and said, “This dinner is disgusting”
– then my wife said, “Well, boil your own toast next time then”

I asked my dad where the whetstone was. He asked to see what I wanted sharpened. I handed him my knife, he looks at it and tells me,
– “you don’t want this knife. A dull knife is pointless!”

What was told by the knife to the tuxedo?
– Looking sharp.

I started carrying a knife after a mugging attempt a few years ago.
– Since then, my mugging attempts have been much more successful.

What kind of food does a toddler prepare with a sharp knife in the kitchen?
– Finger food.

What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?
– A heartless killer.

When it comes to sharpening pencils,
– there’s never a dull moment.

Have you heard of the woman who was able to stop a knife fight by making use of cake batter?
-She definitely took a whisk boldly.

My friend told me I always say phrases wrong
– But he’s not the brightest knife in the chandelier

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