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Knife puns in 2025

My wife made me dinner the other day. She got offended when I put down my knife and fork and said, “This dinner is disgusting”
– then my wife said, “Well, boil your own toast next time then”

I asked my dad where the whetstone was. He asked to see what I wanted sharpened. I handed him my knife, he looks at it and tells me,
– “you don’t want this knife. A dull knife is pointless!”

What was told by the knife to the tuxedo?
– Looking sharp.

I started carrying a knife after a mugging attempt a few years ago.
– Since then, my mugging attempts have been much more successful.

What kind of food does a toddler prepare with a sharp knife in the kitchen?
– Finger food.

What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?
– A heartless killer.

When it comes to sharpening pencils,
– there’s never a dull moment.

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