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Knitting puns in 2025

There’s a nutcase going around our town stabbing people with knitting needles.
Twelve individuals have been attacked in the last 48 hours.
The Police have announced that the attacker could be following some kind of pattern

A cop pulled up to her & yelled “Pullover!”
She yelled back, “No, they’re mittens!”

My brother couldn’t decide what sweater he wanted to buy. I felt that he was being too knit-picky.

I needle to knit today.

Don’t ever get influenced by salespeople that knit. They can really spin a yarn.

I’m not scared of needles, I just find them to be really weird. They seem to get under my skin a lot.

My sister couldn’t stop raving about her new wool obsession. It was driving me up the wool.

To knit or not to knit, now that’s just a silly question!

A Volley of Knitting Puns
My wife was teaching her best friend how to knit. She was doing quite well but for some extra encouragement I said:

“The basics are simple enough. It’s when you get into the knitty gritty that things start to unravel.

Wife and friend shake their heads, so I say “Sorry, I didn’t mean for my purls of wisdom to needle you.”

More groans…

“Still,” I said, “at least I kept it short and sweet. I mean, I could’ve spun you a proper yarn.”

Wife to friend: “Right, pass me that soddin’ knitting needle…!”

Fabricadabra

A needle surgeon specializes in syringery.

Sheep want to wool the whole world.

I can’t seem to think of any puns related to knitting. I think I have finished all of my material.

A person who can knit their own clothes is knot sub-par by any standard.

A woman accidentally stole a pair of wool socks from the local clothing department store. She didn’t return them because of cold feet.

Knitting: so many purls of wisdom.

What’s the appeal of round-tipped knitting needles?
– They seem pointless.

A man stopped replaced his knitting needles with a sewing machine. “They all look pointless to me now”, he said.

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