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Lawyer puns in 2025

My lawyer went to a rock concert last night and injured his eardrum. He called me this morning to tell me that he couldn’t attend today’s hearing.

I hope you don’t object to this leading question, boy, but you want me, don’t you?

What is the similarity between an apple and a lawyer?
– They both are not bad hanging from a tree.

You shouldn’t take a lawyer’s advice over emails
Because that would be
– E-legal.

Children are not allowed into the bar examination
– because they’re under-age.

The golden retriever didn’t make any money at his first law firm. He only worked on pro-bone-o cases.

What would you name a priest if he becomes an advocate?
– Father in law.

Hey boy, I don’t need your call number. I know I can find you in the Fine section.

My wife’s parents ran away from the cops after having a hefty argument. They’re now my out-laws.

How did the lawyer help his friend settle the stolen coffee case?
– He was a barista.

Make corruption pay.
– Become an advocate.

How could a tailor become such a good lawyer?
– Because he had lots of experience in sewing.

A woman sued a hotel for losing her luggage. Unfortunately, she lost the case.

I love you beyond a reasonable doubt.

Lawfare – conducting warfare via the law

How can a woman who is pregnant tell that a future lawyer is carried by her?
– She can’t control her craving for bologna.

Why did the lawyer yell at his housekeeper?
– She was filing suits.

There is no burden of proof for how fine you are

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