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Lawyer puns in 2025

The prosecution can rest at my place tonight.

What did the lawyer name his newborn daughter?
– Sue.

What is the dissimilarity between a lawyer and a jellyfish?
– One is a toxic blob and has no spine and another is a pattern of sea life.

What does a lawyer wear to work?
– A lawsuit!

If loving you is a crime, then I’m looking at a life sentence.

Hey baby, how about we head back to my place, and we make a nudum pactum?

Did it hurt…when you fell from heaven? Because I know a good personal injury lawyer

What separates a lawyer and a liar?
– The way of pronouncing a word.

What did the lawyer say when he put his luggage to sleep?
– “I rest my case.”

A lawyer was apprehended outside of his house for not staying in bed, as mandated by the high court. “Stop, you’re under a-rest”, exclaimed the policeman.

I’ll teach you about jurisdiction if we change the venue to my place.

What separates an accountant and a lawyer?
– Accountants are aware that they are not interesting.

Let me love you with the way that the lawyers spend their time defending righteousness.

The lawyer won the luggage lawsuit in less than 6 hours. It turned out to be a brief case.

I will sue you for the lost opportunity to find myself instead of thinking about you every day.

What’s bad about advocate jokes?
– Advocates don’t find it humorous and other individuals don’t believe they’re jokes.

What’s a lawyer’s least favorite cheese?
– Pro-vlono

A lawyer went to his local restaurant to wind down after a complicated trial. “What would you like with your orange juice?”, the waiter asked. “Just ice”, he replied.

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