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Lawyer puns in 2025

Why did the lawyer have so much trouble fighting Santa’s case?
– He came with a clause.

What separates an advocate and a trampoline?
– Your shoes are taken off by you before jumping on a trampoline.

Why did the strawberry get a lawyer?
– ‘Cause it was in a jam!

I hope you don’t object to this leading question, but you want me to, don’t you?

Is that an amicus curiae, or are you just happy to see me?

A mirror was busted by me and earned seven years of unhappiness but my advocate assumes he will be able to get me five.

Why were snakes made by God just before advocates?
– To practice.

Did you know that lawyers are buried 12 feet deep when they die?
– Apparently deep down they are good people.

Abraham Lincoln never had to call for a lawyer
– because he was already in a cent.

Why are lawyers always so charming?
– Because they have their own appeal.

What is that one thing that never helps when it is resolved?
– A jury.

Let me just defend myself from being unwarily falling for someone pretty as you are tonight

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