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Mango puns in 2024

Some well considered puns
From an email my cousin sent me:

I wanted to be a monk but I never got the chants.

I was kidnapped by mimes, they did unspeakable things to me.

The finest shoes are made of smooth leather, my opinion will never be suede.

A perfectionist walked into a bar – apparently it wasn’t set high enough.

Man injured in bizarre peek-a-boo accident! He’s in ICU.

Went to this horrible bar called “The Fiddle” … it really was a vile inn.

To the thief who stole my glasses, I will find you – I have contacts.

If any of you knows how to fix hinges my door is always open.

Police car loses wheels to thief! Cops are working tirelessly to nab suspect.

Cold? Go stand in the corner, it’s 90 degrees.

If your guy doesn’t appreciate fresh fruit puns let that mango.

A few puns make me numb but math puns make me number.

My friend was explaining electricity and I was like “Watt”?

Someone threw a jar of mayo at me, I was like “What the hellman?”

Where did the Terminator find toilet paper? Aisle B, back.

Due to the quarantine I’ll only be doing inside jokes.

I love riding the seed-saw.

How did I make the mango tree fit in my flower-pot?
– I planted it.

What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
– Man-go away!

I love to play Pokeman-Go.

Take a leaf of faith!

Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you need…
… to let that mango.

A mango messenger walked into a fruit bar with bad news. The bartender was furious and took out his weapon, when suddenly someone said, “Please don’t shoot the messenger, let the mango”.

‪I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
– Called the dish, Mea Pulpa. ‬

Juice be yourself.

This is just the vegan-ning.

An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them “Mango!”

44. The mango ran in a sprint race amongst all the veggies and experienced a pulpable feeling.

I can seed clearly now the rain has stopped.

What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
– Man-go away!

My teenage daughter has recently started taking gender studies in her school, and she suddenly stopped eating mangoes. When I asked why, she said, “Because it is called a mango and not a womango”.

Man, go-od job on landing that job!

My car broke down, can I get a leaf?

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