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Meat puns in 2025

Why did the FBI surround the president with cows?
– They were beefing up security!

Are you spaghetti?
– cause I want you to meat my balls.

Liam Neeson is retiring and going into the burger business. He first chooses his cuts of meat, then he says…
– I will grind you and I will grill you.

Why should you always give meat to a starving man?
– Because their life is at steak

What can’t cows wear shoes?
– Because they lactose

What is a cow’s favorite deli meat?
– Bull-ogna!

What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?
– Ground Beef

I’ve been giving my cows weed to make their meat taste better
– The steaks were high, but were otherwise delicious

Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow?
– because they had beef with eachother

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow?
– Roost beef!

If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!

How do you make a milkshake?
– Give a cow a pogo stick.

Which side of a deer has the best meat?
– The inside.

You should avoid beef when trying to lose weight
– Too many cowlories.

How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire?
– With a steak to the heart!

Are you going to the BBQ (What BBQ?) My meat in your grill

She handed me a jar and said, “This herb goes well with pork, beef, duck and chicken recipes, and fatty meats in particular.”
– I looked at the label and thought, “That is some sage advice.”

What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing contest?
– The steaks have never been higher!

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