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Meat puns in 2024

People who sell meat may be gross. But people who sell vegetables are grocer!

What’s a cow’s favorite moosical note?
– Beef-flat

I walked in on my son beating his meat
– I didn’t know he got a job at the deli!

What beef only comes in 2, 3, 5, 7, or 11 ounce portions?
– Prime Rib!

What is a hair stylist’s favorite steak?
– A flat iron!

How many meat eaters does it take to change a lightbulb?
– None, they would rather stay in the dark about things.

The other day I invested in a meat company.
– I bought a 20 percent steak.

Paul’s height is six feet, he is an assistant at a butcher shop and wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
– Meat.

How do you make your beef lean?
– Cowisthenics!

What did the sausage say to the bacon?
– Nice to meat you!

I’ll pound your meat any way you want me to.

Have you seen a car eat meat?
– Nah, a carnivore eats meat

What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other?
– LEAN BEEF!

What do you call a sad cow?
– Moo-dy.

Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger?
– His life was at steak!

What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder?
– He got a little behind in his work!

Why don’t cows have any money?
– Because farmers milk them dry

I came across a great movie about a semi-truck with a defective refrigeration unit that had to deliver a large shipment of meat.
– Unfortunately, the trailer spoiled it.

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