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Meat puns in 2025

What is the best kind of meat to put on your shins?
– Bologna

Why should you let your meat rest for 5 minutes?
– In case your arm gets tired.

What do you call a sleeping cow?
– A bull-dozer

What do you call a steak hurtling through space?
– A meat-ior!

What do you call a cow with a twitch?
– Beef jerky.

If meat is murder…
…then is cake battery?

What did the angry cow say to it’s enemy?
– We have beef

What do you call a cow with two legs?
– Lean beef!

Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn’t making enough money from the wool?
– The situation went from baa-d to wurst!

Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon?
– The farmer had cold hands.

What kind of meat do you get from Minecraft cows?
– Cornered Beef

My wife’s an abysmal cook. She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
– She made a right hash of it

Why did the FBI surround the president with cows?
– They were beefing up security!

Are you spaghetti?
– cause I want you to meat my balls.

Liam Neeson is retiring and going into the burger business. He first chooses his cuts of meat, then he says…
– I will grind you and I will grill you.

Why should you always give meat to a starving man?
– Because their life is at steak

What can’t cows wear shoes?
– Because they lactose

What is a cow’s favorite deli meat?
– Bull-ogna!

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