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Milk puns in 2025

My herd of cows always confuse me. I can’t milk head nor tail of them.

Angry cows are usually to blame for the sour milk.

What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce milk?
– A milk dud.

What did the man say when he found out the milk man was sleeping with his wife?
– How dairy!

Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon?
– Because it was beyond my wildest creams.

Milk aliens have landed. They said ‘take me to your litre’.

Where are all the decisions regarding cows taken?
– At the cow-ncil.

My wife asked me to go get some milk
– My wife: can you go out and get a gallon of milk, if they have oranges get 5

– Me: *comes home with 5 gallons of milk”

– My wife:???

– Me: they had oranges…

How does a cow commit a murder?
– In cow-ld blood.

You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn’t yet had breakfast.
– They’re lack-toast and tolerant.

I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said ‘this is a library’. So i whispered ‘I’d like a pint of milk please’.

Something in the way she moos attracts me like no udder lover.

What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
– An OvalTeen

Where does a cow field during a game of cricket?
– At the boun-dairy.

I bought a dwarf cow yesterday. I just fancied some condensed milk.

I used to have a pet cow, but I had to give it away because it was so expensive, it was milking me dry.

I was attacked the other day by the milk man. He thought it was funny, how dairy!

Milk is good
– But it can be butter

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