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Milk puns in 2025

You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn’t yet had breakfast.
– They’re lack-toast and tolerant.

I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said ‘this is a library’. So i whispered ‘I’d like a pint of milk please’.

Something in the way she moos attracts me like no udder lover.

What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
– An OvalTeen

Where does a cow field during a game of cricket?
– At the boun-dairy.

I bought a dwarf cow yesterday. I just fancied some condensed milk.

I used to have a pet cow, but I had to give it away because it was so expensive, it was milking me dry.

I was attacked the other day by the milk man. He thought it was funny, how dairy!

Milk is good
– But it can be butter

Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk?
– Cream and Punishment.

The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.

The cow was getting bored of making milk. She curd do it in her sleep.

The doctor told me I needed to take a milk bath. I asked if it needed to be pasteurized. No, she said, just above the knees.

When do two cows become best friends?
– When they are able to cow-ordinate well.

What if soy milk is just regular milk that’s trying to introduce itself in Spanish?

I saw a whole shelf of soy milk at the store the other day.
– It’s great that they’ve enabled milk to properly introduce themselves to customers.

I bought a tin of evaporated milk. When I opened it, I realised it was completely empty.

One astronaut says to another “I can’t find any milk for my coffee”
The other astronaut replies “In space no one can, here use cream”

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