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Milk puns in 2025

I used to have a pet cow, but I had to give it away because it was so expensive, it was milking me dry.

I was attacked the other day by the milk man. He thought it was funny, how dairy!

Milk is good
– But it can be butter

Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk?
– Cream and Punishment.

The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.

The cow was getting bored of making milk. She curd do it in her sleep.

The doctor told me I needed to take a milk bath. I asked if it needed to be pasteurized. No, she said, just above the knees.

When do two cows become best friends?
– When they are able to cow-ordinate well.

What if soy milk is just regular milk that’s trying to introduce itself in Spanish?

I saw a whole shelf of soy milk at the store the other day.
– It’s great that they’ve enabled milk to properly introduce themselves to customers.

I bought a tin of evaporated milk. When I opened it, I realised it was completely empty.

One astronaut says to another “I can’t find any milk for my coffee”
The other astronaut replies “In space no one can, here use cream”

Where should you call a cow?
– At her second-dairy number.

I wasn’t able to milk my cow yesterday. It was an udder failure.

I’m sure I’ve seen this cow before, I’m having a serious case of de ja moo.

What type of milk did Moses put in his coffee?
– Amend milk

A man threatend me with milk, chocolate and cheese
– how dairy (dare he)

What will happen when you buy loads of milk?
– A hole will be burnt in the pocket.

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